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Embrace What Makes You A Good Mama

Supporting Sisters

Written By Sammy Pandolfo
May 27, 2021

Something that is the absolute core of our mission with Supporting Chaos is encouraging you to embrace whatever makes you the best version of yourself as a parent.

For Gracie and me, that looks different in a lot of ways.

two woman celebrating on a boat

When we both were very new parents, I’ll be honest, I think we were a bit judge-y of each other.

The Backstory

I didn’t understand why (it felt to me), like Gracie was so obsessed with things like crawling, talking, and hitting milestones.

And I’m pretty confident she was thinking the opposite with me. Like it’s not so hard to help them with crawling?? Lazy, much?

But this is what I didn’t understand at the time.

Gracie’s start with her new baby looked different than mine. She struggled immediately bonding with her babies at the hospital (which is a pretty badass thing to admit). Teaching and spending time doing things together helps this bond grow stronger and stronger. It’s the teacher in her. She truly enjoys it!

And my whole perspective shifted.

For me, when that baby is placed on my chest, it’s an instantaneous bond. I had NO idea this wasn’t the same for everyone.

Here’s the thing, I secretly hate milestones (of course, I don’t want them to be behind developmentally). It makes me feel like I’m losing my snuggly newborn. I want to cry just writing this. I struggle at the 6-month mark for numerous reasons, but I think it always makes me feel like the baby phase is getting close to over. For me, pregnancy feels forever and the newborn phase is a blink of the eye.

I also don’t like the pressure of my babies getting older. This is the one time in their life where we can just be together. There is no schoolwork or discipline. I can’t mess them up! Overthinking milestones infringes on my baby bliss bubble, and I find it stressful.

What I’ve Learned

This was such an eye-opening lesson. I emphasized with my sister. We have no idea what another mama is going through. I can now confidently say that we respect, admire, and support each other’s different journeys. We both know that we’re doing our best to stay happy and raise awesome little humans.

It might be a different path, but it’s the exact same goal.

At the end of the day, we BOTH believe it doesn’t matter when your child crawled, walked, said “mama,” or learned their ABCs.

But we approach these things very differently in a way that works best for us and our kids. And we absolutely need to respect other mamas in the choices they make for their family because it is not a one-size-fits-all approach. There is no right or wrong way.

Being a mama is freaking hard. If I tried to be a different type of mama, I’d be miserable.

So we want to challenge the mamas out there to embrace their motherhood strengths and focus on being the best version of themselves for their little ones. You do not have to cut your sandwiches in heart shapes to be a good mama. Or host a Pinterest worthy birthday party. What do you love about being a mom?

When I play, I love it to be spontaneous and silly… like running in the rain and dance parties. I’m not typically a fan of traditional playing, scheduled activities, and “teaching.” I totally relate with the “bad mom” mentality- it’s fun and works for me!

Our Hope for All The Mamas

We hope to show through our differences, that you can be different in your parenting styles and still be a kickass mama.

If you read something that we share that resonates with you, run with it! If it’s something that you don’t see fitting into your life or find stressful, leave it.

Gracie told me she tried some of my snack time tips, and it wasn’t working for her. So she stopped. And I love that!!! I don’t want her stressing about snack time because she feels like she has to do it a certain way. Her way is perfect for her family.

Just yesterday, Grace was enthusiastically talking about counting, and common numbers kids mix up (or something like that lol)….and she caught me physically yawning in the middle of it. We both almost died laughing.

Embrace your strengths…it’s the best thing you can do for your family!

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Sammy Pandolfo

Hi! I’m Sammy, one of the two mamas behind Supporting Chaos! Below is a little background on me, but above all, thank you so much for being here. We are so excited to watch this community grow and support other mamas like we’ve been able...